Jack Johnson, Up In Flames (June 10)
"Waking up too early, making banana pancakes…"
Hopes of a relaxed, early afternoon brunch of banana pancakes were charred today.
Friends and I woke up with with hungry bellies, so I wanted to help make breakfast. Bisquick shake’n pour- cool invention! No measuring required. Sounded like I was capable of doing that. I added water and some chopped bananas, then shook to mix, just like directions said. My biggest fear was incorrectly flipping the flapjacks, because a funny looking hotcake just won’t do. That should have been the least of my worries.
With no griddle in sight, I got out the frying pans, turned on the heat, put the pans on the stove top, then tried to butter them. The minute that stick of butter hit the hot surface, FLAMES ERUPTED and then the pan started to SMOKE. Visions of a burning house, of stopping dropping and rolling, and Smokey the Bear angrily shaking his finger at me danced before my eyes. My first inclination was to pour water into the pan, but some miraculous force stopped me from doing the worst possible thing in that situation. Instead, I ran outside with my smoking pan, coughing along the way. The batter wasn’t even in the skillet and I had already screwed up breakfast.
I deferred to the Kitchen Captain and followed her orders from then on out, taking full pouring and flipping orders from her. But when we went to pour the last pancake, powder come out. Turns out I didnt’t mix it that well. This endeavor was doomed from the start.
What can I say, Jack? I tried.